


this is when the feeling sinks in

by NightLady



Category: The Worst Witch (TV 2017), The Worst Witch - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-18
Updated: 2018-08-18
Packaged: 2019-06-29 03:01:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15720630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NightLady/pseuds/NightLady
Summary: She hates her. She really does. Pippa Pentangle hates Hecate Hardbroom with a vengeance. Pippa hates Hecate for the way the other woman makes her feel. She hates that even after thirty years, the mere mention of Hecate's name still sends her heart into overdrive. Pippa hates her, but why does she still feel that tiny glimmer of hope about seeing the dark-haired witch again? Why does she continuously yearn for the woman's company again?





	this is when the feeling sinks in

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry.

She hates her. She really does. Pippa Pentangle hates Hecate Hardbroom with a vengeance. Pippa hates Hecate for the way the other woman makes her feel. She hates that even after thirty years, the mere mention of Hecate's name still sends her heart into overdrive. Pippa hates her, but why does she still feel that tiny glimmer of hope about seeing the dark-haired witch again? Why does she continuously yearn for the woman's company again?

 

**_31 years ago, after the conclusion of a broomstick water-skiing competition_ **

 

Pippa slammed her fist repeatedly against the door, the one barrier separating her from her best friend. Her best friend who had failed to show up for their broomstick water-skiing display. Her best friend who had just told her to go away when she had run up to her room, trying to see if the other girl was okay, even as Pippa's mind was whirring through the different possibilities of Hecate being hurt, sick, or in danger. Her best friend, with whom she had just realised she was in love with, who had just torn her heart out from her chest and crushed it like it was nothing. _Like Pippa was nothing._

 

"I said, leave, Pentangle! I swear, if you don't stop knocking on my door, I'll make sure you do, damn the consequences!" Pippa's hand froze mid-air as the muffled voice came from within the room.

 

The pink witch sniffled, a look of determination set across her face, before she drew her fist once more against the door only to withdraw immediately from the sharp pain that had struck the back of her hand. Crying out, Pippa took a step back and leaned against the wall opposite the door, sinking weakly to the ground as she cradled her hand, which was now burning red from the impact against whatever spell Hecate had charmed her door with.

 

With tears streaming uncontrollably down her cheeks, she whispered feebly at the door, "I hate you, Hecate Hardbroom. I hate you."

 

Pippa had no recollection of how she got back to her room that day, but she did. She had spent the following few days in bed, violent sobs wracking her body, hands clawing at her chest, wishing that she could simply rip her heart out from within just to ease the aching pain.

 

Pippa Pentangle had thought that she was the one person who knew Hecate Hardbroom the best. Now, she realised that she never really did know her at all.

 

**_21 years ago, the Staff Room of Pentangle's Academy_ **

 

Pippa had told herself that she simply preferred to be kept up-to-date on the recent research in the magical community, even if it wasn't a subject that she was teaching. As Headmistress of Pentangle's Academy, it was vital that she familiarised herself with any new research, even if it had nothing to do with modern magic. After all, she believed that any form of traditional magic could be modified to be used like modern magic.

 

"How do you know so much about Miss Hardbroom's latest research?" her potions master enquired after Pippa had piped in on a heated debate between him and another member of the faculty.

 

She stiffened at the mention of Hecate. "I read. I simply like to be kept updated with new research."

 

"You do? But, aside from papers on chanting and modern magic, don't you obtain any new knowledge on traditional magic during those teaching conferences, usually many moons after they're published? Hecate Hardbroom's paper was only just published this morning," her deputy enquired, confusion etched across her features.

 

Pippa could feel her cheeks heating up. She had forgotten how well her deputy knew her, and how familiar the younger woman was with her work ethic. "Oh, is that the time? I'm afraid I've got a mirror call scheduled in a few minutes."

 

Safely in the confines of her quarters, Pippa sank into her couch, scowling as her gaze fell upon the offending set of papers on her coffee table.

 

How is it that even after all this time, Pippa still couldn't stay away from anything relating to Hecate Hardbroom? How is it that after so long, the woman still held such a hold over her? Pippa questioned, but she knew she already had the answers to them.

 

She knew the answers to those questions every night that the sky is clear, and she looks up to study the moon and the stars, only to be reminded of the countless nights spent under the night sky with a slim witch decked out in black, her inky hair cascading down her back in soft waves that Pippa could never resist combing her hands through. She knew, _knows_ , when her treacherous heart continues to yearn for someone it can never have again, someone who had stolen her heart once upon a time, trampled all over it, and taken all that the blonde had. Someone whom she now _hates_.

 

Blinking furiously to stop the tears that were threatening to fall for someone she had vowed never to shed another tear for, Pippa gritted out, "I hate you, Hecate Hardbroom. I hate you."

 

The pink witch reached for the papers on the table and set about to rip them into shreds, only to pause at the very last minute. With a sigh and a gentle shake of her head, she smoothed them on the table, and summoned a thick, pink folder from her shelves. Pippa filed the set of papers carefully into the folder, before closing it and staring at the folder's label with a pained expression.

 

_A cure for Hiccup._

 

**_11 years ago, the Pentangle's Estate_ **

 

The black robes that she was dressed in were unlike her, but highly appropriate for the occasion and her mood. Pippa's beloved father has just passed, and now that the funeral was over, she could finally take a breather in her childhood room. Or at least, she had thought she could, until a soft knock on her door had drawn her from her thoughts.

 

Waving the door open, Pippa found her mother standing on the other side, holding a small darkwood chest. The Pentangle's matriarch set the chest down gently on the floor next to the younger woman, before drawing her daughter into a tight hug.

 

"Your father kept everything in the chest for you all these years. It's time you got them back. He would've wanted you to have this." Pressing a soft kiss against her daughter's cheek, Mrs. Pentangle smiled sadly at a perplexed Pippa before leaving the room.

 

"Thanks, Mum. I love you," Pippa called out after her. Settling down on the ground, the blonde lifted the lid of the chest, only to be met with an array of items and an envelope. Sliding the letter out, she began to read:

 

> _My darling Pippa,_
> 
> _As much as it pains me to see you like this, I still feel that as your father, I should do what I think is best for you. Perhaps by the time you receive this, the pain would've subsided, and things may be brighter in your life once more. I don't know what the future holds, but I can only guess and hope for the best. If I'm lucky, I'll be present to hand this over to you personally._
> 
> _When I heard about what happened between you and that Hardbroom girl, my heart broke for you. I was angry at her, furious for the pain she caused my little girl, but I also know, Pippa, that the heart wants what it wants. Removing any trace of her from this house before you returned home was the least I could do for you._
> 
> _They say that it is better to have love and lost, than to never have loved before. Do with these what you will. Keep them or burn them. I have kept them all these years, in case you'd look back one day and regret getting rid of everything associated with a certain Hecate Hardbroom. Regardless of what you choose to do with these, I hope that they will bring you some peace, or at least, bring back some fond memories you had with the girl. Because even if she did break your heart, I'm certain that there must have been some good in someone that my daughter loved to that extent._
> 
> _With love,_
> 
> _Father_

 

Pippa was barely holding back her sobs when she got to the end of the letter. She had no idea that her father had been this perceptive of her life at Amulet's. It would certainly explain why photos she had been dreading to see were no longer on the walls of the hallway when she returned home that Summer.

 

Her father had been right. Hecate was, _is_ , her one great love, and she had never loved anyone quite the same way since. No one quite matched up to Hecate Hardbroom. She had mourned the loss of little things Hecate had given to her on various occasions over the years, items that she had thrown away after that fateful day twenty years ago that she would never recover. And now, she had _some_ things to remind her of her years at Amulet's with Hecate, all thanks to her father.

 

Yet, as she sat there on the ground in the middle of her childhood bedroom, sifting through the framed pictures and various trinkets in the chest, Pippa couldn't help but let the resentment bubble within her.

 

This was supposed to be the last gift she'd ever get from her father and Hecate Hardbroom has somehow managed to taint it with her presence.

 

"It's been twenty years, for Merlin's sake!" the frustration that laced Pippa's voice was clear.

 

As her fingers ghosted over a dark velvet box, Pippa gingerly lifted it out of the chest. Drawing the necklace with a pentangle pendent on it out of the box, she held it to her chest and cried, "I hate you, Hecate Hardbroom. I hate you."

 

That evening, when Pippa had finally pulled herself together, she clasped the necklace around her neck, and stored the chest under her bed.

 

**_One year ago, on a day weeks after the Spelling Bee_ **

 

Pippa's heart had thundered in her chest at the prospect of seeing Hecate again. However, coming face-to-face with the woman at Cackle's was nothing like what she had expected. The blonde had not been surprised at the challenging glares and jibes the potions mistress had thrown her, but it didn't mean that she hadn't been hoping that perhaps, just perhaps, Hecate would extend an olive branch.

 

Sure, Mildred Hubble's interference had garnered her a hug, but was their friendship really restored just like that? After all, Hecate had promised to mirror often, but it has been weeks since and Pippa hasn't received any form of contact from the other woman.

 

It feels like someone had pulled her up, only to kick her down again. And it felt cruel. It _was_ cruel. It was cruel of Hecate to get her hopes up with a promise, only to go back on it.

 

"I hate you, Hecate Hardbroom. I hate you," Pippa muttered to no one in particular. Yet, why did it feel like the more she said it, the less she felt like she meant it?

 

**_Present day, when Pippa heads over to Cackle's for a workshop on modern witching_ **

 

She hates her. She really does. Pippa Pentangle hates Hecate Hardbroom with a vengeance. Pippa hates Hecate for the way the other woman makes her feel. She hates that even after thirty years, the mere mention of Hecate's name still sends her heart into overdrive. Pippa hates her for the power the woman has over her.

 

Pippa hates Hecate, yet she cannot help but jump at the first chance of protecting the dark-haired witch. She had heard about what had been going on at Cackle's Academy and offered her services the moment the Great Wizard had put word out about the possibility of Cackle's needing a new Headmistress or face closure. The blonde knew how loyal Hecate was to the school, and how much the academy meant to the woman. There was no way she was going to let the school get shut down even if its current Headmistress failed to keep her position. Hecate Hardbroom was not losing her home that day if Pippa Pentangle had any say about it. Besides, it would just be a bonus if they could be partners once more.

 

And so, Pippa had made her way down to Cackle's Academy, bringing with her the prospects of change under the pretext of modern witching workshops, only to be met with strong resistance every step of the way. Resistance that, disappointingly, came strongest from the very woman she was there to protect.

 

Indeed, it had all worked out (almost) perfectly in the end. Hecate kept her home. Ada was reinstated. Pippa got to press a lingering kiss against Hecate's cheek and had even gone as far as to boop her nose. However, as she flew alone on her broom back to Pentangle's, she couldn't help but let the dark thoughts seep through once more.

 

Why does Hecate continue to push her away, time and time again? Why is it so easy for Hecate to villainise her, even though Pippa never ever meant to cause her any harm? Pippa hates it. Pippa hates that Hecate Hardbroom continues to have such a strong hold over her heart. Pippa hates that she has never stopped yearning to be close to the other woman, even during the years that they were apart.

 

And most of all, Pippa thinks as she returns to her room at Pentangles and was greeted with a bouquet of red and white roses accompanied by a note holding an apology from Hecate, she hates that she had allowed her heart to be taken but has never taken it back from the other witch.

 

They say that there exists a fine line between love and hate. Perhaps, Pippa Pentangle never truly hated Hecate Hardbroom. 


End file.
